Here are a couple of Christmas limericks to share on this Christmas Eve.

First -

With mistletoe over my head

I was groped by a man dressed in red

With a pat and a squeeze

I said "Stop, Santa, please!

Do that again and your dead!"

Second:

Santa perched atop his sleigh

Rudolph was leading the way

Air traffic control 

Didn't watch the console

Now Santa's jet engine fillet!